Vanessa Marin's posts - English uPOST

How to Give Feedback During Sex How to Give Feedback During Sex

When I bring up the idea of giving sexual feedback to my sex therapy clients, I usually get met with a vigorous eye roll or an unhappy sigh. Most people are uncomfortable with the topic. I hear responses like, “Shouldn’t my partner just know what to do?” or “They can’t possibly think I like that.”

How to Explore Prostate Play  How to Explore Prostate Play 

Mention the word “prostate” around a group of men, and most of them will automatically think of embarrassing cancer-screening prostate exams performed by a doctor. But the prostate can be so much more fun that that! The prostate is home to a ton of nerve endings, can be a lot of fun to play with, and can create…

How to Get Motivated to Work on Your Sex Life How to Get Motivated to Work on Your Sex Life

You know your sex life isn’t great. You’ve had bad fights with your partner about the subpar state of your sex life. You’ve read magazines and articles online telling you to “have more sex” and “spice things up.” And yet, you just can’t bring yourself to make any changes. Read on to learn how you can finally find…

How to Help Your Partner Get More Comfortable Receiving How to Help Your Partner Get More Comfortable Receiving

Many people have a hard time receiving time, attention, or stimulation in the bedroom. For so many of us, it can be easier to give than to allow ourselves to receive. If you’re with a partner who struggles to receive your attention in the bedroom, there are some ways you can help them relax and understand that they’re…

How to Tell a Partner They're Doing Something in Bed You Dislike How to Tell a Partner They're Doing Something in Bed You Dislike

Do you remember the Bridesmaids scene where Kristin Wiig’s Annie is getting felt up by Jon Hamm’s Ted? He’s kneading her breasts as if they were dough, trying to prove that he’s a better lover than her fictional hook-up partner George Glass. It’s clear that Annie is hating every second. And yet, she says nothing.

How to Give a Lazy Blowjob How to Give a Lazy Blowjob

In honor of Evil Week, I’m here to teach you how to give a lazy blowjob. First, some caveats: Penises are awesome, blowjobs are fun, and it’s important to be as generous and giving with your partner as you would like them to be with you. But sometimes it’s late, you’re tired, and you just want to get your partner off…

How Men Can Last Longer During Sex 

Learning how to last longer in bed is one of the most common reasons why men seek out my sex therapy services. Just about every man worries about orgasming too quickly, regardless of the actual amount of time he tends to last. Fortunately, there are a few straightforward, actionable strategies for lasting longer…

The Difference Between Spontaneous and Responsive Desire The Difference Between Spontaneous and Responsive Desire

When you think about sexual desire, you usually only thing of one thing—craving sex. But there are actually two completely different types of sex drive: spontaneous desire and responsive desire. Read on for the differences between the two, how to know which one you are, and what it means for your sex life.

What to Do When Your Sex Drive is Low

A reader asked this question during our live Q&A a few weeks back:

How to Enjoy a Threesome How to Enjoy a Threesome

A while back, I wrote about how to set up a threesome. Today I’m going to talk about the nuts and bolts of how to actually enjoy your threesome in the moment. Even though threesomes are one of the most popular fantasies, they can be remarkably tricky to pull off. Adding a third set of boundaries, preferences, desires,…

How to Deal With Penis Size Anxiety How to Deal With Penis Size Anxiety

There are few topics that can evoke such widespread and intense anxiety as penis size. Just about every man—regardless of the actual size of his penis—worries about being too small. Here’s what you need to know about penis size, and what to do if you’re afraid your penis is smaller than “normal.”

Our Sex Columnist Answers Your Questions, Live This Friday Our Sex Columnist Answers Your Questions, Live This Friday

Hello, After Hours readers! I’ll be hosting a live Q&A this Friday, June 15th, at 4 pm ET. You can ask your questions in the comments section (sign in with a burner account if you want to be anonymous!), and I’ll answer them live. I’m happy to answer any sex-related question you may have, such as:

What to Expect Your First Time at a Sex Club What to Expect Your First Time at a Sex Club

Most people’s only association with sex clubs are the creepy scenes from Eyes Wide Shut. But sex clubs can actually be quite varied, and a lot of fun.

How to Have BDSM Sex That's Safe and Consensual  How to Have BDSM Sex That's Safe and Consensual 

This week, New York attorney general Eric Schneiderman was accused by four women of physical assault during sex. Schneiderman responded by saying that the hitting, choking, and slapping he’s accused of were part of kinky “roleplaying.” All four women say they never consented to engage in these types of behaviors.…

How to Set Up a Threesome How to Set Up a Threesome

A threesome very well may be the most common sexual fantasy—but as common as it is, it’s tricky to make happen in real life. Here’s your guide to turning this fantasy into a reality.

How Men Can Have an Ejaculation-Free Orgasm  How Men Can Have an Ejaculation-Free Orgasm 

Men have long bemoaned the idea that women can have multiple orgasms, but men can’t. Men, after all, have to deal with the frustrating refractory period—after an orgasm, their penises stay limp no matter how much they try to coax them into action. Their energy levels are depleted, anyway, and they often just want to…

How to Give a Hand Job 

Hand jobs don’t get the respect they deserve. They’re an activity that many people (especially heterosexual people) haven’t done since they were teenagers. But, just like fingering a woman, manually stimulating a man can be one of the best ways to give focused stimulation. Here’s everything you need to know to give a…

How to Eat Ass  How to Eat Ass 

Rimming is having a moment. Long thought of as a more “advanced” sexual activity, it’s being added to the repertoires of people who would describe themselves as being fairly vanilla. Here’s everything you need to know if you’re curious about giving rimming a try.

How to Finger a Woman 

Fingering is one of the best ways to pleasure a female-bodied person. It allows you to give her really targeted, focused stimulation, and can be one of the best ways to help her have an orgasm. Compared to oral sex or intercourse, it’s also relatively non-taxing for the giver. Here’s what you need to know to finger a…

How Weed Affects Your Sex Life How Weed Affects Your Sex Life

With the recent legalization of weed in several states, and the creation of several sex-specific THC products like Foria personal lubricant, more people are becoming curious about the relationship between marijuana and sex. Here’s what we know so far about how weed can affect various aspects of your sex life.

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