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They Aren't Your Friends They Aren't Your Friends

A good cover letter apparently should open with an anecdote that displays grit and character and perseverance; it should not just come right out and beg for it. Before I had the slightest idea about any of this, I’d lead with a story about interviewing actor and Deadspin commenter Jon Hamm as a mostly untrained…

MLB To Become Slightly More Fun, Might Relax Its Footwear Restrictions MLB To Become Slightly More Fun, Might Relax Its Footwear Restrictions

As part of its unofficial campaign to introduce more Cop Vibes to every level of the game, Major League Baseball has been on a crusade against experimental cleat designs this year, and has already issued warnings of potential fines to a number of players. According to Yahoo Sports, though, the league and MLBPA have…

The Cotton Candy Hot Dog Will Kill Us All The Cotton Candy Hot Dog Will Kill Us All

If you haven’t eaten breakfast or lunch yet today, it may be exceedingly difficult to do so now. Over the weekend, the Erie Seawolves, the Double-A affiliate of the Detroit Tigers, unveiled a special product for their Sugar Rush Night. It is the kind of special anti-treat that you will never be able to unsee but will…

Movie Talkers Are So Much Worse Than Movie Texters Movie Talkers Are So Much Worse Than Movie Texters

The holidays are about consuming copious amounts of food and finding things to do with your family that allow you to be with them while also ignoring them. My family’s method of choice is watching movies. And so this past Christmas, we gathered round to watch a pair of holiday classics—Michael Clayton and uh Dunkirk—…

Jackie Bradley Jr. Threw The Fuck Out Of This Ball

Jackie Bradley Jr. has been having a truly nightmarish season at the plate. The kind you tell your kids about, the kind that would otherwise warrant a player riding the bench for much of the year. We’re talking about a .182/.279/.297, four-dingers-through-65-games sort of season. But his defense is insane enough to…

The Beef Between Lewis Brinson And Hunter Strickland Is Currently Medium Well The Beef Between Lewis Brinson And Hunter Strickland Is Currently Medium Well

Hunter Strickland has long been established as the biggest baby, as he once threw a retaliatory pitch for a nearly 3-year-old dinger. It doesn’t take much to get under the Giants closer’s skin, besides exposing him as kind of a mortal pitcher in front of large crowds.

My Weird Son Deandre Ayton Is The Green Goblin My Weird Son Deandre Ayton Is The Green Goblin

When the Phoenix Suns draft big lanky Arizona lad Deandre Ayton with the No. 1 overall pick on Thursday, as they are expected to do, they will also receive Josh, Eric, and Alejandro. Those aren’t members of Ayton’s entourage or family, but three distinct personalities that inhabit the very large body of Deandre Ayton.

So Is Scooter Gennett Really This Good Now? So Is Scooter Gennett Really This Good Now?

There are usually a very limited number of ways that most fans will ever come to know that a guy like Scooter Gennett exists. He’s a player you would know if you’re the type of Brewers fan that keeps up with those 16th-round role-playing guys, ones that hang around for a few years and never really flash star…

Lorenzo Cain Saves His Teammate, Breaks The Cubs' Rundown

Early on in the Brewers’ 4-0 win over the Cubs Tuesday, Christian Yelich was on second base and Lorenzo Cain hit a sharp grounder up the middle. Javier Baez was there for a nice backhand play, but Yelich had already taken off for third, maybe figuring the ball was getting through. That required a rundown, which…

The Mariners Can't Really Be This Good, Can They? The Mariners Can't Really Be This Good, Can They?

On Monday night, the Seattle Mariners did something they’ve been doing a lot of lately—winning baseball games, baby. This particular game featured some things that most of their other recent wins have not, including 1) a good team as an opponent in the Angels and therefore 1a) two Mike Trout home runs, and 2) a margin…

Otherwise Cursed A's Fan Blessed With Two Straight Foul Balls

Lifelong Oakland Athletics fans younger than 28 years old have never seen their team make a World Series appearance. Various A’s teams have been spunky and overachieving and paradigm-altering in their strategic cheapness, but lately they have just been bad. But it makes sense that the team whose approach to numbers…

Who Is The Most Adam Sandler Director? Who Is The Most Adam Sandler Director?

Most friendships have a sort of intrinsic half-life. Each passing year tends to draw you further from the people you care about or at least reduce the number of people you stay in touch with, but this is usually a good thing. I’d say the best number of friends is somewhere around MySpace’s platonic ideal of a top…

The Phillies And Their Dumb Shift Just Handed Third Base To Kris Bryant

The Cubs beat the Phillies 7-5 in a thriller on Wednesday night that culminated in a walk-off grand slam dinger from Jason Heyward. This came right after the Phillies had taken a 5-3 lead in the top half of that inning on a two-run smash from Dylan Cozens. The win-probability graph alone is exciting to look at.

Andrew Heaney Got Doused In A Glorious Ice Bucket Dump Andrew Heaney Got Doused In A Glorious Ice Bucket Dump

There are few better birthday gifts a starting pitcher could ask for than the 23rd-in-OPS Kansas City Royals lineup, which is exactly what the Angels’ Andrew Heaney got for his 27th birthday last night. He threw the first shutout of his career, a one-hit gem in a 1-0 win, and was then treated to one of the most…

Even For Aaron Judge, Eight Strikeouts Is A Lot! Even For Aaron Judge, Eight Strikeouts Is A Lot!

The Yankees knew what they were signing up for when they brought together Aaron Judge and Giancarlo Stanton in the heart of their order. There would be stretches of pure pyrotechnic dong-mashing spectacle and there would also be days marked by multiple sullen trips back to the dugout, during which guys like Gleyber…

All Routine Groundouts Should Look Like This

When you’ve reached the “playing for the Salt Lake Bees” point of your baseball career, it’s perfectly reasonable to have some fun with it. Eric Young Jr., erstwhile MLB speedster and veteran of 610 big league games over nine seasons, showed how this was done in a game on Sunday.

Danny Farquhar Gives First Interview Since Brain Hemorrhage Danny Farquhar Gives First Interview Since Brain Hemorrhage

Here’s some nice news: White Sox reliever Danny Farquhar, who suffered a brain hemorrhage in the dugout during an April game, gave his first interview since returning home from the hospital. He sat down with Good Morning America on Friday to talk about his recovery for the first time, and while it’s heartening to see…

Somehow Max Scherzer Is Better Than Ever Somehow Max Scherzer Is Better Than Ever

Yes, it was the Orioles, and yes, there are only a limited number of ways to talk about this sort of thing, but Max Scherzer surgically picked apart a lineup so thoroughly that it almost doesn’t matter that the lineup was one of the league’s worst. The Nationals beat the Orioles 2-0 Wednesday night, on the back of…

Carlos Gomez Claims MLB Targets Specific Players For Drug Testing Carlos Gomez Claims MLB Targets Specific Players For Drug Testing

Rays outfielder Carlos Gomez says he’s already been drug tested six or seven times in this still-very-young season, which is enough to lead anyone to think random drug tests are not entirely random. Gomez vented some of these frustrations to the Tampa Bay Times on Tuesday, offering up ample amounts of pee and blood to…

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