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Reflections on My #VerySmartWedding Less Than A Week After It Happened Reflections on My #VerySmartWedding Less Than A Week After It Happened

To quote Shug Avery from The Color Purple, “I’se married now!”

Dear Drivers Who Veer Left to Turn Right, I Hate You. WTF Is Wrong With You? Dear Drivers Who Veer Left to Turn Right, I Hate You. WTF Is Wrong With You?

This goes out to you and you — you know who you are, so stop me if you’ve heard this one before. You’re driving along a thoroughfare, minding your own business. Maybe you’re even listening to your favorite true-crime podcast as you venture into work, traffic court, or to that Brazilian wax appointment you’ve been…

Elizabeth Warren May Not Be Native American, But She Might Be Black, Talking About 'I Got Some Indian In My Family'  Elizabeth Warren May Not Be Native American, But She Might Be Black, Talking About 'I Got Some Indian In My Family' 

Earlier this year, several folks in my family (including myself) did some variation of DNA testing. You know what I’m talking about; the tests where you send in your DNA and apparently, the government owns and can clone you, but you get to find out, especially if you’re black, that maybe your family originates from…

If You Can, You Should Totally Meet Rick Fox. You Know, Rick. Fox. If You Can, You Should Totally Meet Rick Fox. You Know, Rick. Fox.

One of the fun things about this here semi-charmed life of mine is that over the course of the past, say, 12 years, I’ve had the opportunity to meet more famous folks than I can shake a stick at. At this point, it’s harder for me to remember who all I’ve met; I’ve probably forgotten more folks than I can remember.

I Saw a Spider In My Car Last Night, Then I Lost Sight of Him. Whole Ride Ruined I Saw a Spider In My Car Last Night, Then I Lost Sight of Him. Whole Ride Ruined

I do not know the name of the spider who decided to fuck with me while I was driving home last night. He looked like his name could have been Ivan. Or perhaps Svetlana. Maybe even Sharkeisha. What I do know is that this lone-wolf spider decided that he was going to play with my emotions and gaslight me for the better…

I Believe the Question of the Blackest Name Ever Has Been Settled by Lil'Jordan Maleak Humphrey I Believe the Question of the Blackest Name Ever Has Been Settled by Lil'Jordan Maleak Humphrey

Before we get going here, I’d like to be very, very clear: I’m in no way clowning Lil’Jordan Humphrey by calling his name (his first name) the Blackest Name Ever. In fact, I find this to be a compliment and culturally significant. We’ll get back to that.

The Blackest Intersection in America Exists in Washington, DC The Blackest Intersection in America Exists in Washington, DC

It’s no secret that I live in Washington, D.C. While I’ve had a love-hate relationship with this city for various reasons, it’s home. No matter where I go in the world, even when I’m back in Atlanta or Madison/Huntsville, Ala., at this point in life, D.C. is home. I’ve lived in the D.C. urea for 17 years at this…

10 Reasons Why Kanye West Going to Africa to Finish His Album Yandhi Might Work Out for Us All (It Also Might Not) 10 Reasons Why Kanye West Going to Africa to Finish His Album Yandhi Might Work Out for Us All (It Also Might Not)

Kanye West—you may have heard of him—is on the move. On the heels of recent comments about the 13th Amendment and his apparent undying love for our current president and emergency alerter, Kanye has decided to venture to Somewhere In Africa to finish recording his second (you could argue third) album of 2018, Yandhi.…

How in the Hell Are People Paying for Weddings? Vol. 2 How in the Hell Are People Paying for Weddings? Vol. 2

In a little over a week, I will be a married man. I’m not entirely sure that I’ve fully grasped what that means yet but I also know that I do not have the time yet to even think about it. If it ain’t this thing that needs to get done, it’s that thing that needs to get done. Add in great opportunities that have to be…

André 3000 Said: 'The South Got Something to Say.' Aquemini, Which Turns 20 Today, Said It All André 3000 Said: 'The South Got Something to Say.' Aquemini, Which Turns 20 Today, Said It All

On September 29, 1998, Outkast dropped their third album, Aquemini, so named after the portmanteau of Big and Dre’s zodiac signs, Aquarius and Gemini, respectively. It was their level all the way up album. The Source, still relevant at the time, gave it the vaunted 5 Mic rating, making it a classic. The album is where…

A Ridiculous Story About Getting Petty Larcenied by a Crackhead 20 Years Ago to the Day on September 29, 1998 A Ridiculous Story About Getting Petty Larcenied by a Crackhead 20 Years Ago to the Day on September 29, 1998

On September 29, 1998, I was a sophomore at Morehouse College. I didn’t live on-campus. I was living in the westside of Atlanta house on Martin Luther King Jr. Blvd SW that my grandmother lived in for much of my youth. At some point, my cousin bought her a house in Adamsville—two miles west on MLK—and my two of my…

10 Thoughts I Had Watching a Kayaker Get the Shit Slapped Out of Him With an Octopus by a Seal 10 Thoughts I Had Watching a Kayaker Get the Shit Slapped Out of Him With an Octopus by a Seal

1. This is exactly why I don’t fuck with nature. This is also why God made me a black man. More on that later.

Is Otis Williams of The Temptations the Pettiest Man Alive? An Analysis Is Otis Williams of The Temptations the Pettiest Man Alive? An Analysis

The Temptations is one of my all-time favorite singing groups. I’m especially a fan of the “Classic Five” lineup (I like to call it their “Death Lineup”—no pun intended) of David Ruffin, Eddie Kendricks, Paul Williams, Melvin Franklin and Otis Williams. Dennis Edwards replacing David Ruffin and singing on their most…

It’s Official. New Orleans Is My Favorite City in America. Here Are 10 Reasons Why It’s Official. New Orleans Is My Favorite City in America. Here Are 10 Reasons Why

1. Cliché as this will be, I’m starting with the quite obvious ability to walk around with that drank. Sure, Bourbon Street smells like Hurl of Christmas Past and you’re likely to see a person laid out face down in the street, not dead, just passed out from all of the Everclear 151 and sugar mixtures. Hurricanes, Hand…

Is Waldorf, Maryland Really That Far? An Analysis Is Waldorf, Maryland Really That Far? An Analysis

If you live in the Washington, DC area long enough, you’re likely to hear about the city of Waldorf, Md. Waldorf is the biggest city in Charles County, Maryland, located directly south of Prince George’s County, Maryland, also know as the place that most of the people you know who claim to be from DC really hail from,…

Who Would Have Thought Touring a Louisiana Plantation Was a Good Activity for a Bachelor Party Weekend? Who Would Have Thought Touring a Louisiana Plantation Was a Good Activity for a Bachelor Party Weekend?

I just got back from New Orleans, where a bunch of the homies and I took a Homie Trip to celebrate my upcoming nuptials. While what happens in New Orleans stays on Instagram, there were a few planned activities that were both fun and educational. For instance, we took an airboat tour of a swamp and I learned all about…

I Ended Up in the Middle of a Street Fight Yesterday. Here's What Happened I Ended Up in the Middle of a Street Fight Yesterday. Here's What Happened

Have you ever accidentally ended up in the middle of a fight by sheer virtue of your location and inability to remove yourself from said location. Like say you’re stuck on a ferris wheel cart that sits six people and on the way up, three of the people sharing the cart with you end up in a physical altercation while…

19 Different Spoiler-Free Thoughts and Emotions (With GIFs) I Had While Watching the Season 5 Finale of Power 19 Different Spoiler-Free Thoughts and Emotions (With GIFs) I Had While Watching the Season 5 Finale of Power

The season five finale of Power aired on Sunday night. Look, for all of the criticisms of Power—and some of it is very, very warranted—when this season got good it got goodt. Delivert goodt. Slap yo’ mama with the same hand that you don’ licked off the barbecue sauce off your fingers goodt. Episodes 8-10?

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