Katie McDonough's posts - English uPOST

Another Job for Ivanka  Another Job for Ivanka 

It’s Tuesday, baby. Time to cry.

Melania Could Have Made Salads Melania Could Have Made Salads

The Clemson Tigers, college football champions, visited the White House on Monday evening as a reward for doing a very good job. These kinds of visits traditionally involve a fancy meal, but the people who work in the White House kitchen are reportedly furloughed as part of the ongoing government shutdown. As an…

'I Won't See You Because I'm Going to Stop Working': How a Los Angeles Teacher Prepared Her Students for the Strike  'I Won't See You Because I'm Going to Stop Working': How a Los Angeles Teacher Prepared Her Students for the Strike 

Last week, as another round of negotiations failed and the United Teachers of Los Angeles announced a new strike date for January 14, Kirti Baranwal, a teacher with the Spanish-English Bilingual Program at the UCLA Community School, read her 2nd and 3rd grade students a book called Click, Clack, Moo: Cows That Type. …

Let's Fight About Which Fruits Are Good  Let's Fight About Which Fruits Are Good 

I eat fruit every day, not because I am supposed to but because I want to. So far today I have eaten two clementines and some grapes. I will probably eat one, maybe two more clementines before the day is through. I have no idea if eating this much fruit is healthy and I do not care. Kill me, fruit. It’s how I wanna go…

Movie Critics Ivanka Trump and Jared Kushner Reportedly Walked Out of Vice  Movie Critics Ivanka Trump and Jared Kushner Reportedly Walked Out of Vice 

Did you know that while you were eating ham and talking to your cousin Kevin about passing the final part of his CPA exam, Ivanka Trump and Jared Kushner were reportedly watching Vice in Palm Beach and then abruptly walking out? Everyone celebrates the holidays in their own way, which is beautiful.

Bad Winter Starts Now  Bad Winter Starts Now 

I woke up this morning to find an ornament had fallen and shattered into a dozen or so pieces at the foot of my already wilted and dying Christmas tree. I swept up the shards and a mess of needles, returned the broom to the closet, and was immediately nailed on the head by its handle, which had sprung back at me from…

Let's All Try to Remember What Happened 

Time has slowed. It’s fast? It’s a circle. Was that two months ago? It was eight years. Who had a baby? Not the president? We made a quiz.

The Best Political Writing We Read This Year  The Best Political Writing We Read This Year 

There is no shortage of things to read about our current political moment, but way too much of it is stenography for people in power that is nakedly transactional or stenography for people in power that mistakes itself as deep. There was endless garbage published in 2018, but these things were very good.

The Best Stocking Stuffers Are Warm Socks and Clementines  The Best Stocking Stuffers Are Warm Socks and Clementines 

I no longer have a Christmas stocking because my mother and I respect each other too much, but I did have one for many years. The very best presents I ever received in that stocking were warm socks and clementines.

That Was 2018 That Was 2018

I spent most of 2018 assigning and editing, but sometimes I wrote:

Tea Is Great Tea Is Great

In what can only be described as an unfortunate editorial misstep, Jezebel recently ran a piece arguing that tea “sucks.” I feel it is my responsibility to correct the record and assure our readers that tea is very good, and certainly better than coffee.

I've Seen Bigger I've Seen Bigger

At around 6'4” and 1.5 tons, Knickers the Holstein Friesian is “unofficially Australia’s biggest steer,” according to the Sunday Times. A fact that apparently saved his life. “It was too heavy. I wouldn’t be able to put it through a processing facility,” Geoff Pearson, Knickers’s would be executioner, told the paper.…

Never the Man I Know  Never the Man I Know 

In August of 2014, Lance Mason assaulted his wife, Aisha Fraser, so violently that he broke her orbital bone. As their two daughters sat in the back seat of their car, Mason repeatedly punched Fraser with a closed fist and slammed her head against the dashboard. When Fraser fled the car, Mason continued to assault and…

What Is Alex Trebek's All-Beige House? 

ALEX TREBEK: This room is all beige, from the carpet to the upholstery and drapes.

Stop Liking Celebrity Instagram Photos

Instagram is mostly for telling your friends how attractive they are and ruining your neck at a young age. It is also for looking at celebrity stuff when you’re bored. Personally, I tend to follow a celebrity when I wonder what the kitchen in her mansion looks like and if that is how I would want my kitchen to look if…

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