Like, scorched earth. They dead now.
Texting everyone I know who didn’t go to an Ivy: “want to go bar hopping with some fake-Ivy people? Lmk”
I’m dog sitting, and I never wanted to be that kind of person who liked animals more than people, but I’ve never met a person who I could give an ice cube to and they would think I’m the greatest fucking thing in the universe.
I need people 24/7. I had a lot of salesmen in my family, and it’s kind of a game. Will everyone like me? Yes. Yes. They. Fucking. Will.
I move seamlessly between selling people in relationships and being a cock blocker, and I give zero fucks.
I have four dates in two weeks. And mostly I want to get back together with one of my exes, and I’d put my chances at 50/50. Sometimes being pretty sucks.
You can now buy an SVR in BRG, but it’s $4900 extra (worth, since that was the only reason I never fake configured SVRs). It’s not Range Rover and their frigging $15,000 BRG paint, but how is BRG a $500 option on most Jags, but $5k on an SVR?
Everything I’ve ever done is predicated on getting on well with people. I come from a family of salesmen, and winning people over was drilled into me from a young age.Sometimes I pick a random person and think “we’re going to be friends now.” And we will. But, shit, I do not like people. On a fundamental level, I like…
Internally: “Stop telling me more, that’s very illegal.”
I saw a 5-Series today with the badge replaced by F10. At first glance I thought it was a fake B badge, but this seemed... kind of okay? I mean, it seems special to someone who doesn’t know BMWs, but enthusiasts would understand it, so I’m inclined to allow it.
I just want to live out my happy dipshit life, being me, a fairly happy dipshit. But yet. BUT YET. People can’t not be fuckers, and I have to use a life time of fuckertude to be a fucker. And it’s like, I don’t really get enjoyment out of being an asshole anymore, but sometimes people misinterpret that as “I can be a…
Don’t make it a things, dicks. I’m just pointing out the the Kinja inherent in the system.
Tell me that’s not the best version of House of the Rising Sun. Really, let’s dance.
I’m bored and my girlfriend is asleep.