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Monday Night Football Needs To Get Over Itself

Drew Magary’s Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Email Drew here. Buy his book here.

The Constitution Is
Garbage The Constitution Is Garbage

Today, we’re talking about doors, gym TVs, pull-ups, broadcaster fights, and more.

Grinch Burns, Ranked Grinch Burns, Ranked

1. Your soul is an appalling dump heap, overflowing with the most disgraceful assortment of deplorable rubbish imaginable, mangled up in tangled-up knots.

On Paying Your Dues On Paying Your Dues

Drew Magary’s Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Email Drew here. Buy his book here.

Down With Big
Scooter Down With Big Scooter

Today, we’re talking about Chewbacca pooping, Trump, dinosaur fights, sneezing, and more.

Please God Bring Back Vine For Sports

Drew Magary’s Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Email Drew here. Buy his book here.

Huffy, Dopey Cy Young Voter Hangs Up On Incredibly Chill Old Radio Host Huffy, Dopey Cy Young Voter Hangs Up On Incredibly Chill Old Radio Host

I learned something really interesting today, which is that Steve Somers is still alive. You people out there probably know New York’s flagship sports talk radio station WFAN mainly because of comic book hater and sugar-free mafia cosplayer Mike Francesa. Ah, but when I was growing up, there was an entire ecosystem of…

Candy Versus Booze: Who Ya Got?! Candy Versus Booze: Who Ya Got?!

Today, we’re talking about woke Axl Rose, salt, rich assholes who exercise a lot, and more.

Cook For Yourself  Cook For Yourself 

My wife was out for a girls’ night and I was home alone with my three rowdy kids. To my enormous shame, I have yet to get my two younger kids to eat the same shit that my wife and I eat every night. I cook a regular meal, and then my boys eat chicken nuggets or cheese toast or some other garbage. Without a responsible…

I Forgot How Much It Rules To Watch Football At A Bar I Forgot How Much It Rules To Watch Football At A Bar

Drew Magary’s Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Email Drew here. Buy his book here.

Don’t Force Your
Sports Fandom Onto Other People’s Kids, You Asshole Don’t Force Your Sports Fandom Onto Other People’s Kids, You Asshole

Today, we’re talking about French fries, cocaine, college football, and more.

The Strange, Incredible Joy Of Warming Up

Drew Magary’s Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Email Drew here. Buy his book here.

Help! My Boss Just
Followed Me On Twitter Help! My Boss Just Followed Me On Twitter

Today, we’re talking about T-shirts, gorilla suits, flowers, peeing, and more.

There’s
Gonna Be A Live Deadcast Party In Nashville And Y’all Are Invited! There’s Gonna Be A Live Deadcast Party In Nashville And Y’all Are Invited!

NASHVILLE! MUSIC CITY! THE ATHENS OF THE SOUTH! HOTCHICKENTOWN! VANDYLAND! CUTLERVILLE! Y’ALLBANY! Nashville, we have never visited your fair city, but that shit is about to change, because we’re gonna do a live show and football watch party down there on November 5th! YEEEEEEEEEEHAW! YEE TO THE HAW! HAW TO THE YEE!…

How The Fuck Did So Many Teams Pass On Patrick
Mahomes? How The Fuck Did So Many Teams Pass On Patrick Mahomes?

Drew Magary’s Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Email Drew here. Buy his book here.

The 19 Boringest
Athletes Of All Time The 19 Boringest Athletes Of All Time

Today, we’re talking about pistachios, cults, Costco, crying, and more.

I desecrated $400 worth of caviar to prove a point I’ve now forgotten I desecrated $400 worth of caviar to prove a point I’ve now forgotten

For all its opulence and expense, the dirty little secret of caviar is that it is, in essence, a topping. It’s a condiment, and an unruly condiment at that. It’s a comically messy food for people who abhor messes. Its consistency means that it can often slide off of things with alarming ease. Getting caviar to stay on…

The NFL Is Screwing Over Defenses, And I Love It!

Drew Magary’s Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Email Drew here. Buy his book here.

Contract The Timberwolves Contract The Timberwolves

Today, we’re talking about pajamas, Nathan Peterman, liquor runs, and more.

John Gagliardi Was The Only Good Coach John Gagliardi Was The Only Good Coach

Drew Magary’s Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Email Drew here. Buy his book here.

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