Stephen A. Crockett Jr.'s posts - English uPOST

Housing Secretary Ben Carson Was Asked About ‘REOs’. He Noted That He Doesn’t Really Mess With Oreos Like That Housing Secretary Ben Carson Was Asked About ‘REOs’. He Noted That He Doesn’t Really Mess With Oreos Like That

Me and my friends have this game where we argue about which famous people should’ve died but who lived long enough just to fuck up their legacy. It’s a brutal game in which we basically argue that big-boned Luther Vandross should’ve died right around the time that a chair was still a chair—not because he ruined his…

Lock Her Up! Betsy DeVos Used Her Personal Email for Government Business Lock Her Up! Betsy DeVos Used Her Personal Email for Government Business

Education Secretary Betsy DeVos, aka America’s most sinister church bake-goods saleswoman, used her email occasionally for government business and hasn’t saved the messages, according to an internal investigation released Monday.

The Mad King’s Minions Tell Former White House Lawyer Don McGahn Not to Testify Before House Committee The Mad King’s Minions Tell Former White House Lawyer Don McGahn Not to Testify Before House Committee

The White House has reportedly directed former White House counsel Don McGahn not to testify before the House Judiciary Committee on Tuesday, arguing that as a former senior adviser to the president he is not legally required to appear before the committee to testify about his official duties as counsel to the…

Trump's Big Mad at Fox News for Giving Airtime to Mayor Pete Buttigieg and Other 2020 Democrats Trump's Big Mad at Fox News for Giving Airtime to Mayor Pete Buttigieg and Other 2020 Democrats

President Trump is in bed with Fox News, so he’s jealous and showing it because Fox News keeps pretending they’re straight. They keep acting like they’re a real news network that cares about everyone. They keep acting like they’re trying to tell both sides of the story.

Magic Johnson Claims 'Betrayal' and 'Backstabbing' as Reasons He Abruptly Left the Los Angeles Lakers Magic Johnson Claims 'Betrayal' and 'Backstabbing' as Reasons He Abruptly Left the Los Angeles Lakers

The Los Angeles Lakers front office and, subsequently the team, are a hot flaming bag of old Kobe rap lyrics.

Chicago Win: Lori Lightfoot to be Sworn in as Mayor; Rahm Emanuel Jumps in Cop's Pocket and Disappears Chicago Win: Lori Lightfoot to be Sworn in as Mayor; Rahm Emanuel Jumps in Cop's Pocket and Disappears

Lori Lightfoot is set to become the first openly gay, African-American woman to serve as Chicago’s 56th mayor when she is sworn in on Monday, and Wintrust Arena will be filled to capacity—with all 8,000 seats accounted for—as Chicagoans are excited for Lightfoot’s term to begin. For Chicagoans, Lightfoot represents…

All the Times Trump Was Warned About Michael Flynn All the Times Trump Was Warned About Michael Flynn

During the president’s morning rage tweets, he claimed that it would’ve been nice to know his national security adviser Michael Flynn was under investigation for his relationships with shady folks, including Russians.

Watch: Ocasio-Cortez's Beautiful Takedown of CEO Charging Nearly $2,000 for HIV Drug That Costs $8 in Australia Watch: Ocasio-Cortez's Beautiful Takedown of CEO Charging Nearly $2,000 for HIV Drug That Costs $8 in Australia

Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (D-N.Y.) was last seen sitting on her dragon inside King’s Landing. It was a moment of reflection. She could fly back to her home because her work was done, thusly letting CEO fuckbois live, or she could flame their asses up. Ocasio-Cortez then clicked her heels and got her fire-breathing…

Trump Accuses the FBI of Treason Because He's Up Early and No One Took His Phone Trump Accuses the FBI of Treason Because He's Up Early and No One Took His Phone

The president’s son-in-law only has one job: to make sure he knows where Trump’s phone is at all times so that the tweeter-in-chief can’t recklessly post random, hate-filled messages without White House approval. As with most things Jared Kushner, it seems he’s asleep on the job.

Trump's Immigration Proposal, Much Like His Administration, Is Garbage Trump's Immigration Proposal, Much Like His Administration, Is Garbage

On Thursday, President Trump is set to unveil a new immigration plan created by his listless son-in-law Jared Kushner—who once auctioned his position in the White House to international investors for green cards—that will lean more toward what migrants will bring to the country, like “genius” Melania Trump, while…

Televangelist Jim Bakker Is Hawking a $45 Trump Prayer Coin, Calls It 'Point of Contact' With God Televangelist Jim Bakker Is Hawking a $45 Trump Prayer Coin, Calls It 'Point of Contact' With God

In the continuous effort by the right to bring God down to Trump’s level, televangelist Jim Bakker is selling a $45 gold-plated Trump coin that he calls a “point of contact” with God, showing President Trump alongside Biblical King Cyrus.

Trump: Joe Biden Isn’t Pretty or Smart Enough to Box With the God Trump: Joe Biden Isn’t Pretty or Smart Enough to Box With the God

President Donald Trump’s old ass is age shaming his potential opponents for the presidency as he believes the only real challengers for the Iron Throne (and no, I’m not talking about Trump’s special toilet) are former Vice President Joe Biden, 76, and America’s favorite substitute teacher, Vermont Sen. Bernie Sanders,…

Trump's Doral Resort Suffering Under the Dictator's Presidency; Net Income Drops 69 Percent in Two Years Trump's Doral Resort Suffering Under the Dictator's Presidency; Net Income Drops 69 Percent in Two Years

This very well could be one of those Trump tax schemes in which he grossly undervalues the property and the income on his resort in order to avoid paying taxes, but one of the crown jewels in Trump’s property portfolio is grossly underperforming.

Dallas Mavericks Owner Mark Cuban Might Run for President Since He Doesn't Think Anyone Can Beat Trump in 2020 Dallas Mavericks Owner Mark Cuban Might Run for President Since He Doesn't Think Anyone Can Beat Trump in 2020

It makes sense that after Donald Trump’s improbable, Russian special sauce win for the Iron Throne—aka the White House—any loudmouth, rich, white guy believes he has a shot at being president.

Lindsey Graham Advised Donald Trump Jr. to Ignore Congressional Subpoena, #LindseyGrahamResign Trends on Twitter Lindsey Graham Advised Donald Trump Jr. to Ignore Congressional Subpoena, #LindseyGrahamResign Trends on Twitter

After South Carolina Sen. Lindsey Graham advised president Donald Trump’s son not to comply with a congressional subpoena and to exercise his Fifth Amendment rights if he does agree to testify, #LindseyGrahamResign began trending on Twitter on Tuesday.

There Was a Secret White House Plan for Mass Arrests of Immigrant Families. When DHS Officials Pushed Back, They Were Fired There Was a Secret White House Plan for Mass Arrests of Immigrant Families. When DHS Officials Pushed Back, They Were Fired

Former Homeland Security Secretary Kirstjen Nielsen had always been the cherry on top of Trump’s orange vomit sundae. She was the PTA-mom face of Trump’s zero-tolerance immigration policy and was not only complicit in Trump’s fake creation of a humanitarian crisis at the border, she testified in front of Congress that…

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