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I Can't Stop Looking At This Photo Of Marcus Smart Nonchalantly Shoving Joel Embiid I Can't Stop Looking At This Photo Of Marcus Smart Nonchalantly Shoving Joel Embiid

Joel Embiid stuck out an elbow and a foot, possibly maliciously and definitely in the sort of passive-aggressive way that players sometimes do this stuff to each other; Marcus Smart crashed into them, and then onto the floor; Smart got up and shoved Embiid onto the floor; and Getty’s Mitchell Leff snapped the amazing…

All Anthony Davis Did Was Request A Trade All Anthony Davis Did Was Request A Trade

On Oct. 3, 1974, Kareem Abdul-Jabbar, then the 27-year-old reigning MVP of the NBA and the biggest star the sport of basketball had ever seen, told the brass of the Milwaukee Bucks that he didn’t want to play for them anymore, and requested a trade. He had one year left on his contract and, as he recounted to the Los Angeles Times

Giannis And Embiid, Just A Couple Of Giant Space Monsters Smashing Everyone Else Into Hell Giannis And Embiid, Just A Couple Of Giant Space Monsters Smashing Everyone Else Into Hell

The Bucks played the 76ers yesterday, in Milwaukee. The game had an outcome; the outcome had no effect on the standings. I am here to call to your attention the two giant space monsters, Giannis Antetokounmpo and Joel Embiid, who combined for 92 points and 31 rebounds in the game and made everybody else on the court…

Russell Westbrook Found His Jump Shot And Is Doing Russ Shit Again Russell Westbrook Found His Jump Shot And Is Doing Russ Shit Again

Pretty much everything about how Russell Westbrook played basketball over the first 10 years of his pro career, and especially over the two seasons prior to this one, was insane and impossible. Each time he crossed over into a 75-degree change of direction while sprinting—sprinting—directly at a defender, and then,…

The Atlantic: Let's Get Fascist So We Don't Have To Elect Fascists The Atlantic: Let's Get Fascist So We Don't Have To Elect Fascists

We must repel the barbarian horde, according to The Atlantic.

Andrew Wiggins Update: Ah, Hm, Well, The Thing Is Andrew Wiggins Update: Ah, Hm, Well, The Thing Is

First, the good news! Fifth-year forward Andrew Wiggins, the former first overall pick in the draft, has more points (1,038 so far) than shot attempts (966) on the season. That was not the case the last time we visited our pal Andrew, back at the end of November, when he was on track to join the small and extremely…

It Is The Warriors' Sacred Duty To Orbital Strike The Celtics Into Hell Tonight It Is The Warriors' Sacred Duty To Orbital Strike The Celtics Into Hell Tonight

It’s been rough going for the poor Boston Celtics lately. They’ve lost five of six since the break, they’ve made no headway in their pursuit of a top-four seed in the playoffs, and they got absolutely walloped at home by James Harden and the Houston Rockets two nights ago. Perhaps even more ominously, if the crescendo…

Report: Warriors Plan To Add Ancient Pizzagater Andrew Bogut Report: Warriors Plan To Add Ancient Pizzagater Andrew Bogut

The Golden State Warriors are planning to sign 34-year-old center Andrew Bogut for the remainder of the season, according to a Yahoo Sports report citing anonymous league sources. Bogut, who left the NBA when the Lakers waived him last February, has been playing professionally in Australia since April, and will have…

Maybe Brad Stevens Isn't Quite Up To This Maybe Brad Stevens Isn't Quite Up To This

“We’re just not together. Plain and simple.” That’s Boston’s Marcus Smart, in the aftermath of the 118-95 ass-whomping his Celtics received at the hands of Pascal Siakam and the Toronto Raptors last night. By my informal count, this is something like the 917th time in this disappointing Boston season that a player has…

Ja Rule Puts A Curse On The Timberwolves, Which Has To Be Worth, What, At Least A Couple Extra Wins Ja Rule Puts A Curse On The Timberwolves, Which Has To Be Worth, What, At Least A Couple Extra Wins

Ja Rule performed as Saturday night’s halftime entertainment at the Timberwolves-Bucks game in Milwaukee. My favorite part of this is that whoever booked him did so as part of a “90s Night” promotion. Ja Rule’s debut album, the dreadful Venni Vetti Vecci, came out on June 1, 1999.

I Can't Wait To See How Roger Goodell Screws This Up I Can't Wait To See How Roger Goodell Screws This Up

By now you’ve surely seen or heard that New England Patriots owner Robert Kraft has been charged with two counts of soliciting prostitution, in connection with a bust on Florida massage parlors allegedly connected to human trafficking. As of this writing, a warrant has been issued for Kraft’s arrest—though, contrary…

Make Some Fiery Red Chili Sauce And Put It On Stuff Make Some Fiery Red Chili Sauce And Put It On Stuff

Maybe you do the thing where, on a Sunday morning, you dump a week’s worth of leftover chicken bones into a big pot of cold water with some onions and root vegetables and herbs and whatnot and make stock. Or maybe you do the thing where you dump a couple huge cans of tomatoes in that big pot with some aromatics, wine,…

Report: Embarrassing NBA Franchise Fires Embarrassing GM In Embarrassing Fashion Report: Embarrassing NBA Franchise Fires Embarrassing GM In Embarrassing Fashion

The New Orleans Pelicans have fired general manager Dell Demps, according to ESPN’s Adrian Wojnarowki. This is richly hilarious.

Some Selections From The First Half Or So Of ESPN's Longform Article About Kevin Durant's ESPN+ Show About Kevin Durant's Brand Some Selections From The First Half Or So Of ESPN's Longform Article About Kevin Durant's ESPN+ Show About Kevin Durant's Brand

It would be insulting and demeaning to all involved for me to try to convince you, the reader, of the grossness of “Kevin Durant: The Making of a Mogul.” The story is a longform sponcon advertorial for Kevin Durant’s ESPN+ show about Kevin Durant’s branding efforts that appears, sort of halfheartedly costumed as a…

Bring Forth The Trades Bring Forth The Trades

It’s NBA Trade Deadline Day, that day basketball fans all get extremely excited about each February despite it reliably sucking shit like six out of any seven years. The trade season already has produced many delights. Kristaps Porzingis to the Mavs, for poop! Otto Porter to the Bulls, for somehow even smellier poop! …

The Sixers Are Going For It The Sixers Are Going For It

The Philadelphia 76ers have acquired not-quite-all-star forward Tobias Harris from the Los Angeles Clippers, in a blockbuster trade first reported overnight by ESPN’s Adrian Wojnarowski. They’ll have the strongest starting five in the East, by miles—and, given the risks they’re taking, now had better at least make the…

Just Make The Damn Trade Just Make The Damn Trade

It’s worth remembering that this all ought to be pretty easy.

Mondo Fucking Dumbass Insanely Wrong On Super Bowl Prediction Mondo Fucking Dumbass Insanely Wrong On Super Bowl Prediction

Here’s CBS NFL analyst Tony Romo, seer of seers, prognosticator of prognosticators, giving his Super Bowl prediction from last week. Check out Nostradamus over here!

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