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The Best Way to Persuade Someone That They're Wrong Is to Show Them How They're Right The Best Way to Persuade Someone That They're Wrong Is to Show Them How They're Right

When you’re debating a topic with someone, it’s in your best interest to avoid flat-out telling someone they’re wrong. All it does is make the other person defensive, causing them to entrench themselves further in their beliefs. Instead, tell them all the ways they’re right, then guide them to realizing they’re wrong…

How to Think Like a Cat, With Humorist Stéphane Garnier  How to Think Like a Cat, With Humorist Stéphane Garnier 

Our guest on this week’s Upgrade is author Stéphane Garnier, whose book How to Think Like a Cat extols the many virtues of adopting a feline mindset.

If Meditation Stresses You Out, Try This If Meditation Stresses You Out, Try This

I have a bad habit of trying to meditate, getting distracted, and immediately giving up, just to try it again six months later. So this observation from redditor Subduction really got me:

This Mood Log Might Cure Your Gamer Rage This Mood Log Might Cure Your Gamer Rage

Multiplayer video games can get toxic fast, especially when you’re stuck with a team of overranked LOSERS and you are the ONLY ONE guarding the last capture point while Trash6Boner9 just DICKS AROUND. You complain to your friend or your partner, and they ask why you even play this game if it pisses you off so much.…

Why You Should Brainstorm for Questions, Not Answers Why You Should Brainstorm for Questions, Not Answers

The goal of brainstorming is to find possible solutions to a problem, but the process often becomes a platform for the outspoken, who offer the same perspective time and time again. Instead: ask everyone to generate more questions about the problem so you get a better understanding of what it really is. This…

How to Get Over Yourself, With Buddhist Psychiatrist Mark Epstein How to Get Over Yourself, With Buddhist Psychiatrist Mark Epstein

In this episode we talked with author and psychiatrist Mark Epstein, whose books include Thoughts Without a Thinker, and Going to Pieces Without Falling Apart. His latest book, Advice Not Given: A Guide to Getting Over Yourself, uses Buddhism’s Noble Eightfold Path as a roadmap for spiritual and psychological growth.…

This Is How Many Friends You Need to Be Happy This Is How Many Friends You Need to Be Happy

Friends make you happy, healthy, and they’ll be there for you when the rain starts to pour. But how many of them do you need? Turns out the show Friends had the science all figured out.

How to Deal With Assholes How to Deal With Assholes

If I asked you to identify the biggest asshole in your life right now, how quickly would you be able to come up with a name? Some of us might be able to list three or four assholes with whom we interact on a daily basis, plus all of the anonymous assholes who cut us off in traffic, cut in front of us in line, and…

Pretend You're Good at It  Pretend You're Good at It 

A while back, I met up with my pal Jenny Lawson, who was in town recording the audiobook version of her memoir, Let’s Pretend This Never Happened. I asked her how it was going, and she told me that it had been going horribly—until, in a panic, she reached out to a writer friend of hers for advice.

Free Yourself From the 'Nagging Data' in Your Life Free Yourself From the 'Nagging Data' in Your Life

The numbers and icons displayed on our device’s screens are meant to be useful; they tell us how much battery is left, how many unread messages we have, and when we need to update something. But more often than not, this data just nags us, constantly poking us like a toddler who wants their mother’s attention. It…

The Cognitive Biases That Convince You the World Is Falling Apart The Cognitive Biases That Convince You the World Is Falling Apart

The world appears to be in a rough place right now. If you turn on the TV or open up your web browser, you’re almost guaranteed to be bombarded by bad news. But is the world really doomed? Or is your animal brain playing tricks on you? Chin up—things aren’t always as bad as they seem.

Are All These Parenting Books Messing With Parents' Heads?  Are All These Parenting Books Messing With Parents' Heads? 

I have a massive stack of parenting books on my desk. Some of them tell me I’m doing an awesome job raising my kid (those books, I dog-ear and pet lovingly). Others tell me I’m screwing everything up, from bed time to screen time. I devour them all, for my job, but also because there’s part of me that keeps looking…

How Your Mindset Affects Your Finances How Your Mindset Affects Your Finances

Money is an abstract and complicated topic, made all the more so by a never-ending stream of financial products, like mortgages, credit cards, and student loans. So how do you make the most efficient use of yours?

Why You Can't Stop Mid-Action, Even When You Know It's a Bad Idea Why You Can't Stop Mid-Action, Even When You Know It's a Bad Idea

You go to take a step up onto your porch when you realize it’s covered in shimmering, slippery ice. Your mind wants to stop so you don’t hurt yourself, but your body isn’t going to get the message in time. Here’s what’s going on in that brain of yours.

Find Out if You Have a Drinking Problem With This Online Tool  Find Out if You Have a Drinking Problem With This Online Tool 

If you’re an...enthusiastic drinker, you might have wondered at what point social drinking crosses the line into problem drinking. But if you’re worried, you don’t need to be a falling-down, having-blackouts kind of drinker to seek advice and help. Alcohol-use disorder (AUD) is a medical issue that falls on a…

Kick a Bad Habit By Replacing it With a Good One Kick a Bad Habit By Replacing it With a Good One

If you’re trying to kick a bad habit, try rewarding yourself with something in its place rather than punishing yourself when you fail. Habits are often so rooted in our subconscious that we don’t even realize we’re doing them, which can make stopping one that’s bad for us especially hard to handle.

Have More Fun With Your Partner in the New Year  Have More Fun With Your Partner in the New Year 

Most of us make resolutions to improve only ourselves: We vow to cut out sugar, work out three days a week, dust off the resume and start the job hunt for real. In general, resolutions tend to be very me-focused—willpower, weight loss, self-care.

Use This Five-Point Guide to Find Patience When You're Annoyed Use This Five-Point Guide to Find Patience When You're Annoyed

I am, and have always been, very easily annoyed. When I was little, I used to beg my mom to make my sister to stop singing in the car. “But it’s a happy noise,” she’d say. (She was right. I was being a jerk.) Annoyances are small, not serious problems, and it would make all of us and the people around us happier if we…

How to Ad-Proof Your Kid How to Ad-Proof Your Kid

When Cracker Jack decided to replace its “prize” with a QR code, it felt ominous. Instead of finding a tiny baseball card, or in more recent years, a less-cool temporary tattoo, kids are now directed to a mobile game, which lets them share a baseball-themed picture of themselves with the Cracker Jack logo with their…

Why It Feels So Good to Cancel Plans Last Minute, and How to Stop Why It Feels So Good to Cancel Plans Last Minute, and How to Stop

There’s something magical about cancelling plans last minute—yes, I’ve heard the John Mulaney joke. You instantly get to do whatever you want and not feel beholden to anyone. True freedom is only a shameful text away. But flaking out is a slippery slope that can lead to a detrimental, and fairly rude, habit. Here’s…

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