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Aristocrat Sues France Because He's Not Prince of Monaco  Aristocrat Sues France Because He's Not Prince of Monaco 

Perhaps you thought the era of dynastic disputes and rival claimants to the throne were a thing of the past, a phenomenon consigned to an era when monarchy mattered. Think again, says French aristocrat Louis de Causans!

Sorry to Say Meghan Markle Did NOT Win a Teen Choice Award  Sorry to Say Meghan Markle Did NOT Win a Teen Choice Award 

I’m so sorry to report that Meghan Markle has been robbed—by Harry Styles! Of her 2018 Teen Choice Award, that is. Styles, I hope you’re prepared to be eaten alive by the corgis for this offense against the majesty of the Crown!

Today, a Small Pony Took a Dump in Front of Queen Elizabeth Today, a Small Pony Took a Dump in Front of Queen Elizabeth

A thought exercise I often enjoy is considering which of life’s unpleasantries can be escaped by occupying a high enough rung on the socioeconomic ladder. I think about this most often with regard to the Royal Family, a set of people who from birth have been treated to the highest quality of everything, from breakfast…

Feud: Charles and Diana Appears to Have Stalled Out  Feud: Charles and Diana Appears to Have Stalled Out 

In a crushing blow to me, personally, Feud: Charles and Diana is currently not moving forward at FX. [Wails, gnashes teeth, rends garments including eBay-sourced commemorative Charles and Diana wedding t-shirt]

Meghan Markle Is Off to Balmoral for Some Damp Quality Time With the In-Laws  Meghan Markle Is Off to Balmoral for Some Damp Quality Time With the In-Laws 

Here’s a question: Balmoral, quiet misty haven or so freaking boring you’d run screaming onto the nearest heather-spotted moor? Well, if anybody has a direct line to Meghan Markle, you should ask her in the coming weeks, because she’s off for a visit.

Princess Eugenie Busted for Off-Limits Palace 'Gramming  Princess Eugenie Busted for Off-Limits Palace 'Gramming 

First, it was the absolute exclusion of pasta from the menu at Buckingham Palace, despite Meghan Markle’s love of pasta. And now, Princess Eugenie has reported she got a little knuckle-rapping for posting a picture of her father in a corridor strictly off-limits to the filthy, teeming masses the royals know as their…

Somebody Stole Some Swedish Crown Jewels AND ESCAPED IN A SPEEDBOAT Somebody Stole Some Swedish Crown Jewels AND ESCAPED IN A SPEEDBOAT

Very good crime news today, as police in Sweden report that two men strolled into a medieval cathedral, grabbed a couple of crowns, and escaped via speedboat. Perhaps the guys from Venice have struck again?

Please Rush This Reality Show About Lesser Known Royals to American Television at Once Please Rush This Reality Show About Lesser Known Royals to American Television at Once

MTV International is preparing a reality TV show called The Royal World, based on the comings and goings of random lesser aristocrats from around the world, which sounds like a delightful and highly entertaining mess.

PASTA WAR: QUEEN BANS MEGHAN'S FAVORITE FOOD  PASTA WAR: QUEEN BANS MEGHAN'S FAVORITE FOOD 

Meghan Markle’s favorite food is pasta. Queen Elizabeth II is 92 years old and steers clear of starchy foods. By the ironclad natural laws of the tabloids, these two facts are fundamentally at odds and the pair are now AT WAR!

Wow, I Can't Wait for This New Cozy Mystery! Wow, I Can't Wait for This New Cozy Mystery!

Truly I have never identified with anyone as deeply as I identify with Dame Judi Dench in this picture, looking delightedly at her ice cream cone, standing next to Camilla (formerly Parker-Bowles, currently Duchess of Cornwall).

Palace Denies Charles and William Snubbed Trump Because They Were Never Gonna Meet in the First Place Palace Denies Charles and William Snubbed Trump Because They Were Never Gonna Meet in the First Place

A spokesperson for Buckingham Palace has clarified that Princes Charles and William did not snub Donald Trump on his recent visit to the UK, because they never intended to meet with him in the first place. Totally different!

Official Royal Christening Photos Prove Prince Louis Still a Baby, Harry & Meghan Still in Love Official Royal Christening Photos Prove Prince Louis Still a Baby, Harry & Meghan Still in Love

I met a baby today and am delighted by babies generally, which means I have babies ON. THE. BRAIN. this evening (hello to any and all future boyfriends!!!) So it is with the greatest pleasure that I present to you the **VERY OFFICIAL** photos from Prince Louis’s christening, which were released by Kensington Palace…

Oops! Meghan Markle May Have Expressed an Opinion About Abortion  Oops! Meghan Markle May Have Expressed an Opinion About Abortion 

Meghan Markle might have made the mistake of expressing an opinion about Ireland’s abortion referendum. The fact that this could be considered a “mistake” goes to the heart of why it would actually be very frustrating to be a woman with strong political opinions in the royal family.

Prince Louis, Already Bored of This Royalty Shit, Arrives Sound Asleep for His Own Christening  Prince Louis, Already Bored of This Royalty Shit, Arrives Sound Asleep for His Own Christening 

A christening is the most reliable of events for the royals—the whole extended family gets to make a polished, wholesome, and highly controlled appearance in front of photographers. It’s pure PR upside for The Firm. And Prince Louis is already all, ugh, who cares? Zzzz—bored!

Meghan Markle Nabs Coveted Teen Choice Awards Nod Alongside Harry Styles and Zendaya  Meghan Markle Nabs Coveted Teen Choice Awards Nod Alongside Harry Styles and Zendaya 

Meghan Markle has been nominated for a Teen Choice Award—specifically, a Choice Style Icon award. Her competitors are Blake Lively, Harry Styles, Chadwick Boseman, Zendaya and Migos. Finally, a REAL honor!

Meghan Markle Wore a Very Nice Hat  Meghan Markle Wore a Very Nice Hat 

In the past, I’ve said I’d never want to marry into the royal family. Unfortunately now I must change my answer, for one specific reason: Because I’d love an excuse to wear a Dynasty-ass hat like Meghan Markle was sporting today at Royal Ascot.

This Is All the Shit I Bought at the Royal Wedding This Is All the Shit I Bought at the Royal Wedding

I’m not proud of the amount I spent on royal wedding shit, but nor am I entirely ashamed. Come on—how many royal weddings am I going to attend? This is both true, and my justification for purchasing way too much (wonderful) junk.

Designer Clarifies She Absolutely Does Not Think Meghan Markle's Dress Was a Rip-Off, Nothing But Love Here  Designer Clarifies She Absolutely Does Not Think Meghan Markle's Dress Was a Rip-Off, Nothing But Love Here 

Last week, the Daily Mail featured quotes from designer Emilia Wickstead in which she seemed to suggest that she thought Meghan Markle’s wedding dress rather close to her own label’s work and also Markle’s wispy ’do was wrong for the regal occasion. Now, Wickstead has released a statement saying that she sees no…

Standing in the Shadow of the Monarchy at the Royal Wedding Standing in the Shadow of the Monarchy at the Royal Wedding

Every fairy tale has its peasants; the existence of royalty demands the existence of subjects. Princes and princesses, kings and queens, put you in the position of watching, assigning you the role of witness to their power. Spectacle is one of the most powerful tools left to the Windsors, and they wield it expertly.

Designer Popular With Kate Middleton Starts Royal Wedding Dress Beef  Designer Popular With Kate Middleton Starts Royal Wedding Dress Beef 

The royal wedding is over, but the royal wedding dress drama is just beginning.

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