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Thank God Summer Is Almost Over and I Don't Have to See Your Nasty Ass Feet Anymore Thank God Summer Is Almost Over and I Don't Have to See Your Nasty Ass Feet Anymore

Everything is stupid, and so are we. Welcome to Jezebel’s Stupidest Summer Ever, a season-long celebration of our worst, most idiotic thoughts and opinions.

Can You Spot Kelly Osbourne’s New Accessory? Can You Spot Kelly Osbourne’s New Accessory?

At last night’s iHeartRadio Music Awards—an awards show I didn’t know existed, let alone aired on primetime television—retired musician Kelly Osbourne showed up on the red carpet rocking a hot new fashion accessory to go with her black and gold suit jacket.

More Women Are Chopping Off Parts of Their Feet to Fit in Heels More Women Are Chopping Off Parts of Their Feet to Fit in Heels

When most of us try on shoes that are uncomfortable, we're left with two options: buy them anyway and suffer through the pain or leave the shoes behind. But the wealthy aren't limited to these plebeian choices like we are. They have a third, fancier and more gruesome option — they can pay doctors to cut off parts of…

September at  Cosmo  Means Putting a Condom on a Dude Using Your Feet September at Cosmo Means Putting a Condom on a Dude Using Your Feet

The September issue of Cosmopolitan has a very thorough 12-page guide to contraception, which includes two pages about all the options and their efficacy; two pages dedicated to the Pill and its side effects, and two pages on condoms. In a sidebar on the condom spread, the mag teaches "sexy" ways for a woman to put a…

Do Not Be Ashamed of Your Nasty-Ass Feet Do Not Be Ashamed of Your Nasty-Ass Feet

It's summertime ladies, so the magazines and lifestyle sections are going to have a slew of reminders about making sure your feet are up to code. You know: Exfoliated. Moisturized. Pedicured. Properly covered. Like a reminder to adjust the clock or check your smoke detectors, apparently you need a media-wide nudge to…

Shoe Salesman Accused of Trying to Cut off Woman's Toes Three Times Shoe Salesman Accused of Trying to Cut off Woman's Toes Three Times

Daniel Anaya, a former New Mexico shoe salesman who's previously been accused of biting off part of his now ex-girlfriend's toe (SHUDDER), is back at it. Santa Fe police say Anaya recently tried to use a cigar cutter to cut off the big toe of the same woman he terrorized with his teeth. DUDE.

Pope Horrifies Conservative Catholics by Saying Women Have 'Fundamental' Value Pope Horrifies Conservative Catholics by Saying Women Have 'Fundamental' Value

Pope Francis called women "fundamental" to the Catholic Church today, angering Catholics who believe women should stay away from holy matters because Jesus preferred bros to hos. Is the pope a feminist?!? Let's break it down.

All Hell Breaks Loose After Pope Washes Women's Feet All Hell Breaks Loose After Pope Washes Women's Feet

The Vatican collapsed in a puff of smoke and funny hats this morning following Pope Francis's sacrilegious decision to wash and kiss the feet of two young women at a juvenile detention center in Rome on Holy Thursday. Well, not yet, but the gesture angered conservatives and liturgical purists who believe Francis set a…

Pregnancy Can Make Your Feet Bigger…Forever Pregnancy Can Make Your Feet Bigger…Forever

Pregnancy makes everything bigger, including your feet. But unlike with losing baby weight, you might not be able to drop down to your pre-pregnancy shoe size since the change, for some women, is permanent, according to a new study.

The Arkansas ‘Toe Suck Fairy’ Is Finally Behind Bars (Again) The Arkansas ‘Toe Suck Fairy’ Is Finally Behind Bars (Again)

Arkansas tootsies can rest safe — 51-year-old Michael Wyatt, otherwise known as the "Toe Suck Fairy," has finally been slapped by the long arm of justice after a Faulkner County District Court judge sentenced him to a year in jail for breaking the terms of a previous deferred sentence.

Lucky Queen Elizabeth Doesn't Sweat and Never Gets Blisters From Her Shoes Lucky Queen Elizabeth Doesn't Sweat and Never Gets Blisters From Her Shoes

One of the people responsible for dressing Queen Elizabeth for the past eleven years has spilled some of the secrets of keeping Her Royal Highness looking perfectly put-together at all times. Stewart Parvin told the Sunday Times that it's easy because she simply doesn't perspire:

Your Insistence on Wearing High Heels Is Ruining Your Life Your Insistence on Wearing High Heels Is Ruining Your Life

Are you one of those people who wears high heels so much that you put them on to walk to the bathroom in the middle of the night? Well then you might want to send a note of apology to your calves, because you could be fucking them up big time.

The Curious Case of the Severed Head Hidden Under the Hollywood Sign The Curious Case of the Severed Head Hidden Under the Hollywood Sign

Something very strange and very creepy is afoot Los Angeles. Yesterday afternoon two women and their nine dogs were hiking beneath the iconic Hollywood sign that overlooks the city when they made a gruesome discovery: the severed head of a man in a plastic bag. Karen Rayner, a spokesperson for the LAPD, described the…

Cover Your Toes In Expensive Lace! Cover Your Toes In Expensive Lace!

If you're looking for a way to "sex up" your feet, allow us to introduce you to an interesting new product: Half Pretties! They are basically lingerie for your feet, and they will… ummm… cover up your disgusting toes? Or something? Here's how the website describes them:

Guess Whose Polka-Dot Pedicure This Is Guess Whose Polka-Dot Pedicure This Is

Guess which famous lady was rocking these dots on Friday, when a Getty photographer saw fit to snap a portrait of her feet? Answer posted later today, along with your most entertaining guesses. Update: Okayokayokay, so Gawker posted the answer to our little game a while back. In retaliation, we are banning them from…

How The Hell Do You Protect Your Feet From The Snowpocalypse? How The Hell Do You Protect Your Feet From The Snowpocalypse?

When rain, sleet, freezing rain, snow, snow and more snow are in the forecast, the question you most often ask yourself is, "What shoes are best in this mess?" Rarely will you win this game.

Foot Fungus Is Scientific Proof That Uggs Are Bad Foot Fungus Is Scientific Proof That Uggs Are Bad

According to podiatrist Olivier Zong, foot fungus, "breeds in dark, wet environments — conditions that are usually seen inside trendy sheepskin boots." Another doctor says that's true of "any sock and shoe," but at least other footwear is less hideous.

Actor's Hairy Feet Get A Photoshop Depilatory Actor's Hairy Feet Get A Photoshop Depilatory

In this ad for season two of Royal Pains, Mark Feuerstein sports a pair of gleaming, hairless android feet. The operation must have taken place during the show's hiatus, since in last year's ad he still had hobbit feet.

If The Shoe Fits, Wear It; If It Doesn't, Get Surgery If The Shoe Fits, Wear It; If It Doesn't, Get Surgery

A woman named Audy just had foot surgery. A doctor dislocated Audy's toe, sawed out 2-millimeter chunk of bone, then inserted a titanium rod to bring the shortened bone back together. Why? So Audy can wear cute high heels.

Flip-Flops Cause More Foot Problems Than High Heels Flip-Flops Cause More Foot Problems Than High Heels

Britain's NHS reports that more than 200,000 people need medical treatment every year due to flip-flops; they cause long-term problems including shin splints, weakened tendons and aching toes. The takeaway: we just can't win.

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