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Donald Trump Jr. Majestically Plays Himself By Frolicking Around in an Actual Swamp

Taking the bait runs deep in the Trump family bloodline; a trait nearly as essential to their existence as the family’s trademark rat smirks. It seems like Donald “Big Daddy” Jr. has been duped yet again, this time into plunging into a literal swamp.

Don Jr. Is a Blogger Now  Don Jr. Is a Blogger Now 

Donald Trump Jr., no longer a book boy, has tried his hand at blogging. In a guest column for the Montana Standard about Montana’s Democratic Senator Jon Tester and Supreme Court nominee Brett Kavanaugh, Trump, whose roots in Montana run generations deep, writes:

If Don Jr. Sexts, What Is He Sexting? If Don Jr. Sexts, What Is He Sexting?

Imagine that Donald Trump Jr., forsaken son, has sent you a racy text message. What does your mind conjure? Does your mind refuse to entertain such a thought as a means of self-protection? I understand.

Report: Don Jr. Continues to Be a Sad, Sad Man  Report: Don Jr. Continues to Be a Sad, Sad Man 

A new profile of Donald Trump, Jr., written by Julia Ioffe in GQ, underscores what we have long known deeply in our hearts: That he is very dumb, and has spent his entire life trying in vain to make his sociopathic father love him, to the extent that he has transformed himself into a living, breathing white…

Powerlifting Coach on Don Jr.'s Terrible Form and the Dark Trap of Ego: 'It Gives Powerlifting a Bad Name'

On Sunday, Donald Trump Jr. announced that he had reached a new personal record in the amount of weight that he could put on his back and squat. “Let’s go, Don!” shouts his spotter before looking away, toward what is probably a mirror, in the Instagram video. “Come on, big boy,” he says. After completing what seems to…

Don Jr. Is Having a Tough Time Selling His Dumbass Book  Don Jr. Is Having a Tough Time Selling His Dumbass Book 

Several major book publishers have turned up their noses at Don Jr.’s proposed new book, according to a Fox Business report. The feeling, in the words of one source, is: “There was basically no interest in a book that’s basically a defense of daddy book when you’re under federal investigation yourself.” But he was…

Don Jr. Reportedly Dreams of Being a Book Boy Don Jr. Reportedly Dreams of Being a Book Boy

It appears that Don Jr., a taxidermied subway rat life brought back to life by a witch’s curse, is searching for a book deal. The New York Post reports that, according to publishing insiders, “Trump Jr. is shopping a tome, and is being repped by top agent David Vigliano’s literary firm, AGI Vigliano.”

Don Jr. Loves Meetings! Don Jr. Loves Meetings!

If there’s one thing Don Jr. loves more than the phrase “the fruits of my father’s labor,” it’s meetings. Don. Jr. simply loves meetings!

Can You Listen to Don Jr. Repeating 'The Fruits of My Father’s Labors' for 1 Minute Without Crying Blood?

Don Jr. went on Laura Ingraham’s radio show on Monday to talk about, among other important topics, the fruits of his father’s labors. Can you make it to the end of the clip without dying? My guess is no!

Don Jr.? She's Running?  Don Jr.? She's Running? 

God bless the Trump PR machine for seeding another nightmare narrative to keep an eye on: Don Jr. might run for office!

In a Bid to Do Every Awful Thing Imaginable, the Trump Administration Is Now Coming for the Elephants [UPDATE] In a Bid to Do Every Awful Thing Imaginable, the Trump Administration Is Now Coming for the Elephants [UPDATE]

We kind of knew this was coming, didn’t we, what with Don Jr.’s taste for shooting beautiful animals and Ryan Zinke’s “Big Buck Hunter” moment—still, somehow, the news that the Trump administration has lifted the Obama administration’s ban on exporting trophies from elephant hunts in Zimbabwe and Zambia is a bit of a…

Sarah Sanders: Trump Helped His Son Craft a Misleading Statement Because He's a Good Dad  Sarah Sanders: Trump Helped His Son Craft a Misleading Statement Because He's a Good Dad 

Wouldn’t it be funny if instead of an eclipse the moon just fell on top of us and the news would finally, finally stop?

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