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Cristiano Ronaldo Gave A Truly Moving Speech After Winning Euro 2016 Cristiano Ronaldo Gave A Truly Moving Speech After Winning Euro 2016

Literally nothing bad to say about this. Cristiano Ronaldo did a legitimately cool thing. I’m as shocked as you.

Cristiano Ronaldo Dominated The Euro 2016 Final Without Even Playing Cristiano Ronaldo Dominated The Euro 2016 Final Without Even Playing

Eventually, as the days become months and months become years after yesterday’s Euro 2016 final, where Portugal bested France in extra time, no one will remember that it was the poorly played—though passionate—conclusion to a tournament that itself was stuffed with teams that played like our endearing though unlovable…

Sweet Little Portuguese Boy Consoles Crying French Fan

It’s going to be so sad when these two grow up and are beating the shit out of each other in Euro 2024.

Pepe Le Puke Pepe Le Puke

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Portugal Break Euro 2016 Final Deadlock In 109th Minute

A Cristiano Ronaldo-less Portugal took an extra time lead against France as Éder blasted a strike past Hugo Lloris, who had been a brick wall throughout the match.

Idiot On The Field Invades Euro 2016 Final, Performs Gymnastics Routine

This Euro 2016 has been somewhat of a security nightmare, and so it’s no surprise an Idiot made it onto the pitch of today’s final and turned it into the venue for a floor exercise.

Ronaldo Hurt; Assaulted By Moth

Cristiano Ronaldo was injured early in today’s Euro 2016 final against France, and after two trips to the sidelines the Portugal star has finally been removed from the match in the 24th minute.

It’s time for our final Euro 2016 simulation. Portugal vs France, LIVE on Facebook:

Two Exquisite Flicks Of Feet Gave France The Decisive 2-0 Lead Over Germany

This goal—Antoine Griezmann’s second on the day and the only two of the match that has sent tournament hosts France into the Euro 2016 final—is all about two touches. The first is that lightning-quick little stab of Paul Pogba’s right foot that allows him to burst into space while leaving Shkodran Mustafi for dead and…

Who will win today’s Germany-France match? We’re running a complex simulation using updated rosters in Windows 98 on Facebook Live:

Selfie-Taking, Photo-Bombing Ball Boy Had Best Performance Of Portugal-Wales Game

Where Portugal and Wales failed to actualize their best selves during yesterday’s bland Euro semifinal, this enterprising teen ball boy put together a performance for the ages, one every subsequent ball boy will aspire to replicate.

Boring Euro 2016 Got The Boring Portugal-Wales Semifinal It Deserves Boring Euro 2016 Got The Boring Portugal-Wales Semifinal It Deserves

Euro 2016 has kind of sucked. There haven’t been more than about four honest-to-goodness entertaining games, the over-expanded field and the resulting imbalanced matchups have given us too many teams too content to play—“play”—for 0-0 draws, and only a couple of the best teams and players have put on shows worthy of…

How well can an 18-year-old version of FIFA running on Windows 98 predict the result of today’s Portugal-Wales Euro 2016 semifinal? We’re finding out right now on Facebook Live:

UEFA Is Sick And Tired Of All These Adorable Children UEFA Is Sick And Tired Of All These Adorable Children

Some of the most endearing images from the Euros were snapped after Wales beat Belgium in the quarterfinals, when some of the ecstatic Welshmen celebrated the feat alongside their adorable children. Naturally, the haters at UEFA didn’t like these photos of pure joy and don’t want the scenes to be replicated.

Russian Players Punished For Allegedly Spending €250K On Champagne After Euros Loss

The video you see above—in which an unending stream of bartenders at a Monaco nightclub lug bucket after bucket after bucket of Armand de Brignac champagne (about €500 per bottle, times the reported 500 bottles in circulation, equalling a €250,000 bar tab—not counting tip and sparkler fees) to the table of a pair of…

Iceland Did One Last Viking Clap With Their Fans Iceland Did One Last Viking Clap With Their Fans

Iceland lost to France 5-2 in the Euro quarterfinals, after getting bum rushed for four goals in the first half. But the fact that Iceland—population: the same as Santa Ana, California, a city you didn’t know existed—even advanced far enough to get knocked out by France was a tremendous accomplishment for a nation…

Iceland Turn Back Into A Pumpkin, Give Up Four First-Half Goals To France Iceland Turn Back Into A Pumpkin, Give Up Four First-Half Goals To France

Iceland headed into their quarterfinal with France on the high of destroying England and sending the over-anxious Anglos into full meltdown mode. The entirety of Iceland has been watching their Viking boys wreck shit and play coherent, organized soccer, and an upset against France would be easily the greatest day in…

Germany Beat Italy After Miserable, Awful PK Shootout

A mostly-uninspired Germany-Italy quarterfinal devolved to a terrible penalty shootout, one finally and mercifully won by Germany after Matteo Darmian became the last of many Italians to choke. He only ever approached the ball thanks to fuckups by Müller, Özil, and Schweinsteiger that forced PK overtime.

Cristiano Ronaldo Freaked The Fuck Out During The Portugal-Poland Penalty Shootout

We’re used to seeing Cristiano Ronaldo as the picture of confidence, swaggering around the pitch with his chest all puffed and his chin to the sky. But Ronaldo is indeed human (or at least has recently underwent a software upgrade which included a new and incredibly realistic human behavior-miming module), proof of…

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