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There's A New Co-Leader In The Manny Machado Sweepstakes There's A New Co-Leader In The Manny Machado Sweepstakes

Manny Machado homered in his first-at bat, his 24th of the year, and then left the game after the fourth inning, because of wet grass following a rain delay. Baltimore manager Buck Showalter said, without outright saying, what we all know: that Machado is currently more valuable to the Orioles on the bench and healthy…

Manny Machado Is Smashing Dongs Against The Yankees While He Still Has The Chance Manny Machado Is Smashing Dongs Against The Yankees While He Still Has The Chance

Orioles shortstop Manny Machado is very likely going to be out of Baltimore by the end of the month, and if you believe the whispers, the Yankees are one of the teams that badly want to trade for him. For now, though, as the Yanks battle the Orioles at Camden, Machado remains an enemy of all that is pinstriped, and…

Yes, The Yankees Are In On Manny Machado Yes, The Yankees Are In On Manny Machado

The Yankees and Orioles split a doubleheader in Baltimore on Monday, but the games were almost a sideshow—after all, we know what’s going to happen in the standings: one team is bound for the playoffs and one team the cellar. No, the real story is the sudden and curious entrance of the Yankees into the Manny Machado…

The Manny Machado Sweepstakes Is Raging The Manny Machado Sweepstakes Is Raging

Manny Machado turned 26 on Friday; he is in the prime of his career, and he is having the best season of his life. The Baltimore Orioles have the worst record in baseball, and not much hope of being better any time soon. It seems certain that by the end of this month—maybe even by the end of this week—Machado will be…

The Orioles Finally, Mercifully Shelved Chris Davis The Orioles Finally, Mercifully Shelved Chris Davis

It appears the Orioles will not, in fact, let Chris Davis have the worst season in baseball history. Davis hasn’t played this week, and Friday night Orioles manager Buck Showalter reportedly indicated there’s no timetable for his return. This news is less happy than, say, news of Davis breaking out of his slump with a…

What I Found At The Bottom Of My Father's Huge Collection Of Baseball Stuff What I Found At The Bottom Of My Father's Huge Collection Of Baseball Stuff

“Did he still have The Brooks Room?” one of my dad’s old friends asked me at his wake last July. It wasn’t the first time I’d heard the question that day. The Brooks Room was what his friends called the small basement room in Queens where he kept his collection of baseball cards, programs, figures, pins, bobblehead…

Are The Orioles Going To Let Chris Davis Have The Worst Season Ever? Are The Orioles Going To Let Chris Davis Have The Worst Season Ever?

Orioles first baseman Chris Davis is in real danger of having the worst season in the history of baseball. That’s not a joke or hyperbole. He’s playing unbelievably, historically bad baseball:

Giancarlo Stanton Blesses Bachelorette Party With Healthy Dong

Giancarlo Stanton viciously smote a poor baseball into the right field stands in Camden Yards Saturday, where it was gathered by the overjoyed members of a bachelorette party wearing “Team Bride” hats:

Andrew Cashner Might Be Better At Hacky Sack Than Pitching

Save for the almost-nightly Manny Machado dinger, things are going horrifically wrong in Baltimore. Any twisted soul who’s still keeping up with this team would be wise to hang onto whatever fleeting moments of joy roll around—like Andrew Cashner kicking this comebacker from White Sox second baseman Yolmer Sánchez off…

Buck Showalter Will Not Yield For Your Home Run Trot

A three-run dinger from Xander Bogaerts gave his Red Sox a 6-0 lead and chased Orioles pitcher Kevin Gausman in the fifth inning of tonight’s game. While Gausman himself couldn’t have been thrilled with his mistake, O’s manager Buck Showalter appeared even more disgusted, as he couldn’t even restrain himself until…

Royals Assault Defenseless Orioles Pitcher With Barrage Of First-Inning Dongs Royals Assault Defenseless Orioles Pitcher With Barrage Of First-Inning Dongs

Orioles pitcher Dylan Bundy had a very short Tuesday night start against the Royals, but his outing was anything but merciful. Bundy marked himself with the dreaded infinity ERA by failing to record an out in the first inning as Kansas City smashed dong after dong, scoring seven runs on Bundy off homers from Jorge…

The Final Installment Of The Engelb Vielma Tracker, Featuring The Greatest Anagrammed Hits The Final Installment Of The Engelb Vielma Tracker, Featuring The Greatest Anagrammed Hits

Many—most?—Orioles games feel vaguely pointless right now. The end result is usually clear before the game is underway, and while there’s plenty of different ways for the team to reach that result, those differ only in substance rather than sentiment. It’s all going to be pretty depressing. This was especially true in…

A Very Special Edition Of The Engelb Vielma Tracker: Let Viable Man Single! A Very Special Edition Of The Engelb Vielma Tracker: Let Viable Man Single!

The Engelb Vielma tracker is back, and this time it holds some excellent news for the utility infielder. When we left the 23-year-old last week, he had been sent down to Triple-A. But he was called back up to join Baltimore’s big-league club yesterday, and today—well, today, he got his first hit.

Pedro Alvarez Clotheslines Teammate Chance Sisco

The Orioles are the worst team in the American League by record—8-20, tonight’s ongoing game against the Angels not included—and by just about everything else, too. (See: a collective OPS of .673.) Here’s a play from tonight that sums all that up pretty well: Pedro Alvarez running into Chance Sisco and laying the poor…

Engelb Vielma Tracker: Engelb Vielma Back To Triple-A, Plus Hot Fresh Anagrams Engelb Vielma Tracker: Engelb Vielma Back To Triple-A, Plus Hot Fresh Anagrams

Today’s edition of the Engelb Vielma Tracker must open with an apology: We recognize that this update is tardy, and for that, we are deeply sorry.

Engelb Vielma Tracker: Engelb Vielma Called Up To The Majors, Plus Hot Fresh Anagrams Engelb Vielma Tracker: Engelb Vielma Called Up To The Majors, Plus Hot Fresh Anagrams

Now for a joyous update to the Engelb Vielma Tracker: The utility infielder has been called up to the major leagues for the first time.

Chris Davis Went Full Bo Jackson Chris Davis Went Full Bo Jackson

Chris Davis hasn’t had an especially great start to the season; he entered today 3-for-30, and going 0-for-4 with two strikeouts during tonight’s game against the Blue Jays certainly didn’t help matters. But that second strikeout—which came as he led off the sixth inning for Baltimore, down 2-1—was apparently a…

Twins Mad That The Other Team Was Trying Too

Twins pitcher José Berrios was dealing yesterday. When he faced Baltimore catcher Chance Sisco in the ninth inning of Sunday’s game, Berrios had a 7-0 lead and had given up just one hit in the game.

MLB Tells Aaron Judge To Stop Saying Nice Things About Manny Machado MLB Tells Aaron Judge To Stop Saying Nice Things About Manny Machado

Speaking to reporters before yesterday’s spring training game between the Yankees and the Orioles, Aaron Judge praised Orioles star Manny Machado and said he’d sort of limply recruited Machado. “Adding him to our lineup that we already got would be something special,” Judge said. “I told him he’d look good in…

This Video Of Nate McLouth Speaking Spanish Is Fucking Me Up This Video Of Nate McLouth Speaking Spanish Is Fucking Me Up

That this post is about Nate McLouth, who hasn’t played in the majors since 2014, already indicates that the information’s a bit old, but this video’s making the rounds now and I’d never seen it before, so whatever. McLouth, then with the Baltimore Orioles, did an interview with a Spanish-speaking reporter after a…

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