How in the Hell Are People Paying for Weddings? Vol. 2

Panama Jackson just a moment. 0 comments
Weddings Part 2 How The Hell Do People Pay For Weddings Marriage Olive Garden Expensive Money

In a little over a week, I will be a married man. I’m not entirely sure that I’ve fully grasped what that means yet but I also know that I do not have the time yet to even think about it. If it ain’t this thing that needs to get done, it’s that thing that needs to get done. Add in great opportunities that have to be decided upon within 24 hours (that would normally be mulled over for months) and the car battery I had to buy because one of the house vehicles went kaput, well, who’s got time to be thinking?

Though, I still keep thinking about how gee-golly expensive weddings are. My G, WHAT THE FUCK? Bruuuuuuh.

Back in February, I asked that very question . At that time, wedding planning was in full swing but almost nothing had been secured. We’d only been engaged at that point for a little over a month. But right now? The whole event is in full swing. Tastings and cake tastings and tuxedos, and because it’s an international affair, several outfit changes will occur for the entire wedding party. I imagine it’s what Aretha Franklin felt like during her Even In Death We Slay Funeral Procession Tour. I’d totally buy that T-shirt.

Listen. Shit costs. Whew. In my mind, I had a number. Me, myself and I agreed on said number. Apparently, the Lord thought that number was funny and was like ... let’s go on ahead and change your rap name to Panama 30 Stacks. I’m being facetious, of course, but still. It’s amazing how fast these costs really do rack up and there’s almost no way to be like, “Nope, that’s not right.” So many procured items are coming at discounts that I’m truly thankful that when I asked the question before we had even started paying for shit I didn’t really know. Now, I’m like, WHO IN THE FUCK PAYS FOR THESE THINGS FOR REAL!?!?!

My fiancee put together a budget that I was so ready to destroy. Sure, it was on Google Docs but I sharpened my fine No. 2 pencil anyway. I was ready to go to work slashing shit. Then I looked at one cost and was like, well, I guess that’s reasonable. Then another ... then another. If all of this shit is reasonable and it’s still running me the GDP of a small country like Hawaii, and I’m employed and struggling to cover it, how do folks without much do it?

I know the answer. You don’t have to spend a ton to have a nice wedding. You can find very creative ways to do every aspect of it. And truly, when I wrote the last article, what showed up in the comments were a litany of really interesting ideas. And believe you me, we implemented what we could where we could. All of the big stuff has been accounted for and honestly, none of it was more than I wanted to spend, and yet when put altogether ... well, I’m still pitching Olive Garden ... as recently as yesterday. Seriously, who can deny the unlimited salad? Put a DJ in a back corner and you already have decor.

That’s been the very sobering part of this entire process, which, ultimately I’m very much looking forward to—partying the night away with the homies and enjoying having so many family and friends gathered for a joyous occasion. Many of the costs just are what they are. You either don’t do some of that shit, or it costs more than you want, even if it’s less than you wanted to spend in the first place.

It’s still hard for me to see weddings as a worthwhile investment even if I like how my own wedding is shaping up. My fiancee has done a really good (tireless) job putting this shebang together and I know it will be totes gorge on the actual wedding day. I just wish there was a big-ass wedding Groupon that said, take 25 percent off your whole shit. Or better, “Here’s an awesome wedding package for $79.99.” I’d be all in on that. Hell, I might pay for some other folks weddings.

And if that package came with Popeyes catering? Bruh.

But meanwhile, this time two weeks from now, I’ll be somebody’s husband and sippin’ Mai Tai’s with Ta-Ta down in Nevada, haha, Papa. Word life. None of that is true by the way, but it sounded provocative as if it might get the people going.

To everybody who has gone through this process and not lost a home, car or deed to a CVS in the process, I applaud you.

And to those of you financially frugal compatriots like myself who rock and sway with a pillow every night over money you’ll never see again, I feel your pain. You are me and I am you.

HighResolutionMusic.com - Download Hi-Res Songs

1 BLACKPINK

Kiss And Make Up flac

BLACKPINK. 2018. Writer: Soke;Kny Factory;Billboard;Chelcee Grimes;Teddy Park;Marc Vincent;Dua Lipa.
2 Martin Garrix

Access flac

Martin Garrix. 2018. Writer: Martin Garrix.
3 Martin Garrix

Yottabyte flac

Martin Garrix. 2018. Writer: Martin Garrix.
4 Dyro

Latency flac

Dyro. 2018. Writer: Martin Garrix;Dyro.
5 Martin Garrix

Waiting For Tomorrow flac

Martin Garrix. 2018. Writer: Pierce Fulton;Mike Shinoda;Martijn Garritsen;Brad Delson.
6 Alan Walker

Diamond Heart flac

Alan Walker. 2018. Writer: Alan Walker;Sophia Somajo;Mood Melodies;James Njie;Thomas Troelsen;Kristoffer Haugan;Edvard Normann;Anders Froen;Gunnar Greve;Yann Bargain;Victor Verpillat;Fredrik Borch Olsen.
7 Bradley Cooper

Shallow flac

Bradley Cooper. 2018. Writer: Andrew Wyatt;Anthony Rossomando;Mark Ronson;Lady Gaga.
8 Cardi B

Taki Taki flac

Cardi B. 2018. Writer: Bava;Juan Vasquez;Vicente Saavedra;Jordan Thorpe;DJ Snake;Ozuna;Cardi B;Selena Gomez.
9 Halsey

Without Me flac

Halsey. 2018. Writer: Halsey;Delacey;Louis Bell;Amy Allen;Justin Timberlake;Timbaland;Scott Storch.
10 Sia

I'm Still Here flac

Sia. 2018. Writer: Sia.
11 Lady Gaga

I'll Never Love Again flac

Lady Gaga. 2018. Writer: Benjamin Rice;Lady Gaga.
12 Blinders

Breach (Walk Alone) flac

Blinders. 2018. Writer: Dewain Whitmore;Ilsey Juber;Blinders;Martin Garrix.
13 Dewain Whitmore

Burn Out flac

Dewain Whitmore. 2018. Writer: Dewain Whitmore;Ilsey Juber;Emilio Behr;Martijn Garritsen.
14 Bradley Cooper

Always Remember Us This Way flac

Bradley Cooper. 2018. Writer: Lady Gaga;Dave Cobb.
15 Avril Lavigne

Head Above Water flac

Avril Lavigne. 2018. Writer: Stephan Moccio;Travis Clark;Avril Lavigne.
16 Mako

Rise flac

Mako. 2018. Writer: Riot Music Team;Mako;Justin Tranter.
17 ZAYN

Fingers flac

ZAYN. 2018. Writer: Zayn Malik;Alex Oriet;David Phelan.
18 Billie Eilish

When The Party's Over flac

Billie Eilish. 2018. Writer: Billie Eilish;FINNEAS.
19 Kelsea Ballerini

This Feeling flac

Kelsea Ballerini. 2018. Writer: Andrew Taggart;Alex Pall;Emily Warren.
20 Zara Larsson

Ruin My Life flac

Zara Larsson. 2018. Writer: Delacey;Michael Pollack;Stefan Johnson;Jordan Johnson;Sermstyle;Jackson Foote.

Suggested posts

Other Panama Jackson's posts

Language